Bagel Boss via From Yo to Ya’ll

Today’s guest post comes from the bagel loving girl behind From Yo to Ya’ll. Her blog will make you laugh, and today’s post will have you craving a New York Bagel!

Hey!  I write a little blog entitled From Yo To Ya’ll about my experiences as a recent New York transplant.  I hope you get a chance to check out my blog sometime!

 There’s a lot to love about Virginia and also some things to miss about New York.  When I went to college in Virginia back in the 90’s (pre-internet!!) besides missing my family and friends I missed all of the great food and alt rock music I was used to and that I couldn’t find in SW Virginia.  It made me homesick that I couldn’t satisfy all of my senses with a little bit of NY now and then.  I moved back to New York in 2001 and got my fill of pastrami on rye sandwiches and Oasis and traffic and I’m not so obsessed about NEW YORK FOOD and NEW YORK ENTERTAINMENT as I used to be.  I got my fill and was able to move on.

Now that the world has shrunk, thanks in part to the World Wide Web, I can listen to my favorite alt rock radio stations online no matter where I live and that’s really satisfying.  Also, Roanoke has opened up more restaurants that offer a wider variety of food and that option wasn’t around 15 or so years ago.  The main difficulty I’m still having is locating a decent bagel in my new home state.  Forget about trying to find a bialy.  No one even knows what that is.  It’s sad.

A good bagel is something that you can never stop craving if you grow up in New York.  It’s like a Pavlov’s dog situation ~ say ‘bagel’ and I’ll start to drool.  It’s gross.  For some unknown reason, bagels just don’t taste the same outside of New York.  Is it the water that makes them taste different?  What’s the secret ingredient that no one outside of New York knows about?  WHAT?!  TELL ME!  I’M DROOLING OVER HERE AND NEED TO KNOW!!!!!!!  [it’s sort of like how you just can’t get sweet tea up North; mysterious….]

This is how I handle this disturbing situation: I lug a giant purse (a.k.a. pocketbook, which cracks up my Southern friends) when I fly back and forth to New York to visit and load up the ‘purse’ with bagels and bialys for the trip back.  Seriously load it up.  Like with a dozen, warm, last-minute-gotten bagels and bialys.  The pocketbook is bulging and overflowing with plastic bagness and emanating lovely aromas.  Unfortunately, this always causes me an issue when I pass through the security line at LaGuardia airport.  I get hassled.   Here is a sample conversation with the lovely and cheerful security detail at LGA:

Angry Security Man Who Doesn’t Like His Job or Me: “That plastic bag filled with food isn’t going to be allowed on your plane.  That’s like having a second carry-on.  You can’t do that.  Why do you have that?”

Me Looking Irritated: “I’m going to eat them ALL at the gate before I board.”

For some reason, this tactic has worked. I can’t understand it.  Needless to say, when I board the plane no one cares.  Except when you have to sit on the tarmac for three hours because there is a problem with the landing gear and the entire cabin smells like a bagel and everyone is cranky because they don’t have one.  I just chew one slowly and don’t look at anyone all whilst praying that I don’t die from faulty landing gear.

Where do I get these bagels?  Bagel Boss in Hicksville ~ yes, that’s the name of the town.  Bagel Boss is the absolutely most fantastic bagel place in all the world, in my opinion.  It’s been in business since the 70’s and is open 24 hours a day except on major Jewish holidays.  Their website used to have an option for you to order and mail bagels anywhere in the United States.  My co-worker and I tried to do this and a dozen bagels would have cost $80 to mail because Bagel Boss wanted to overnight them.  Hilarious.  Um, not doing that.  I’m not that crazy.  I’ll stick with the pocketbook smuggling operation.
I have mailed bagels to Virginia before using the U.S. Postal Service which is a lot cheaper than whatever method Bagel Boss was using.  I was in a Long Island post office branch and the guy helping me suggested that I use 3-day shipping to save money.  “But, I have bagels in this box”, I said.  “Ohhhhh, that’s different!  Yes, they are worth the overnight cost.  I’ve done that for my sister in North Carolina.”  He got it.  Love it.